Signs of Life

Check it.

I have actual proof that I'm not just sitting around eating fast food all day.

...Huh. It seems you've alarmed him.

Before I return to making him move and kill stuff, there's some things I'd like to say about the people who only just have enough brain power to walk around a shopping centre:

1. To what seems like 90% of teenage girls:

Here's how walking near you works. You generally have a quick pace, and never yield to anybody, so I and the other fast-walking people see you as a sort of "path finder" when we're heading the same way as you, and get into your "slipstream" as it were.

So when you see a group of friends up ahead of you, try something called deceleration. DON'T KEEP ON AT THE SAME PACE THEN STOP DEAD IN YOUR TRACKS AND LATCH ONTO ONE OF THEM.

2. To what seems like 90% of teenage guys (so don't bitch to me about gender-based discrimination, ladies.):

I'm not sure if you're all just very confused about who's leading the group, and are all trying to hang back to see who's in the lead, or if you feel more secure when you look to your side and see several other people going along with you. I honestly don't care what it is.

STOP CREATING HUMAN WALLS YOU TOOLS. I'm tempted to drive a car into these lines of idiocy whenever I come across them.

3. To people who have mobile phones out while walking:

If you're the kind of person who talks on the phone while walking, and doesn't stumble around in a circle, eyes to the floor, feigning obliviousness, you don't annoy me. If you are someone who does the stumble around thing, grow a brain.

If you're the kind of person who text messages people while walking, or just pretends to for an excuse to walk blindly in a straight line and hope people realize "Oh, they're using their phone. They have to concentrate I guess.", GO AND GET ANALLY DESTROYED BY A HERD OF RABID ANTELOPES.

THAT ARE ON FIRE.

One of these days, I'm going to grab one of these obnoxious failures of humanity and put them in the fetal position. Only it will be backwards. Yep. Knees up, elbows bent, curled up into a ball-ish shape, BEHIND YOUR BACK.

4. To the lady who today asked me if I'd like to get my baby's photo taken:

There are so many things wrong with that offer I don't even know where to start.

5. To people who walk determinedly in one direction then, without warning (or even stopping), do a full 180 spin and keep right on walking:

I now wear a vest that fire a series of small metal spikes outward if I'm hit in the chest with enough force. You have been warned.

And now it's 12:40am. I have school in 8 hours...

Screw you guys, I'ma going t'sleep.

- Squirrel245

"You're gonna just let that guy beat up on your woman? Doesn't that like... go against your jockey man-code or something?"

- Hair Flicking Goth Kid

Leisure-cide. BHYER!

As you've probably guessed by now, I'm currently at college. It's not the type of college the rest of the world would associate the word with, but rather the last 2 years of high school, separated from the other years, possibly so we don't kill the younger students.

I'm in a Media class, and for this final semester we were told to create something film related. Anything at all, so long as the teacher approves and no-one important dies in the process of making it.

The teacher had often noticed me making indescribable oddities in Flash instead of working, so she said I could do mine as a flash cartoon if I wanted to.

"Well I'll be a partially decaying corpse fired out of a T-17 straight at a day care centre. That's a great idea!" I said* straightaway.

I know how to make shit move in flash, make no mistake. But what I told my teacher to expect as a final result was a little over-ambitious, now that I think about it.

I'll put it in human-talk for y'all:

Each frame will have a moderate amount of detail in it, and most of them will be different (this thing will be presented at a mini-film festival, so I can't just copy the frames to fill up time). The cartoon itself plays at 24 frames per second, about the standard you'd see on most TV shows (I think).

I'm aiming to make it run for at least 5 minutes.

5 minutes = 5 x 60 seconds = 300 seconds

24 frames per second x 300 seconds = 7200 frames.

It's due in about 6 weeks time.

That
+
the laziness that envelopes my very being
=

This bitch is going to eat up all of my time. Kill what's left of my social life. Wake me up at strange hours of the night and fill me with worry.
I can't ignore her either; the consequences of that would be dire.

AMIRITE FELLAS? *high five*

Seriously though, I won't be posting again on here until I've finished it off. Don't be depressed; this is a time for healing. The 3 or so people who read this will have one less thing to throw up about for a little while.

Look to my coming, on the first light of the fifty-fifth day. At dawn, look to the east.

Then think to yourself "why the fuck am I up at this hour?"

And now I charge away into the night, hoping the lack of sunlight won't make me run into a tree or off a cliff.


FOR GONDOR!

FOR INDY!

AND THE SEVENTEEN CASES OF BEER THAT AWAIT ME AT THE END!!!



- Squirrel245



"Some wars must be fought alone."

- "Supremacy of Self" by Hatebreed