I recently read one of - no, don't panic just because I read something just - no, don't call the cops, my Satan Cannon is fully operational, and I'm not afraid to use it on them.
Anywho, I recently read one of the far superior blogs that are brought forth by my friend Chris. Click that link repeatedly, as the stuff he writes is a lot more intellimectually stumipulating than the purile shit you're reading now.
The post in question talked about how some people on the internet put up lists of who their friends are, and a series of descriptions that all seem to go along the lines of "I love this person to death. And if they were cool with it... afterwards too."
The point of it was (I think) that people should stop writing that kind of crap about their friends, because only the friends will think "aww... isn't that sickening.", and that everyone else who sees these lists just thinks "I don't know these people are... and I don't care either."
I nodded at my screen in agreement, then similar thoughts occured to me about how many people on the internet think that the stuff they post makes them unique somehow.
Before I start this rant, let me assure you, and your elbows, that I'm aware of the fact that this blog and everything on it isn't unique either.
Bitching about stuff has been around since forever, terrible attempts at drawing have been around since caveman times at least, and randomness has been around since some higher power decided to invent the horse. There's nothing here that hasn't been done a million times before, and done a lot better than this crap too.
Now that that's out of the way... Begin the ranting!
Pointless Heading
These sort of things are usually found on social networking sites, or anything else with a "profile" section on it somewhere. Anywhere that people have an opportunity to describe themselves really.
Back when I was roped into using that abominable pit of lies that is Bebo, I saw this kind of thing a lot. Here's some of the more common attempts at proving uniqueness that I noticed, which I will now pick to pieces.
"blah blah blah I'm crazy blah blah blah..."
Crazy huh?
So... you run around screaming occasionally?
Get completely shitfaced and sing at the top of your lungs til the contents of your stomach come flying out of your mouth like a mini tsunami?
Set things on fire?
Wow, you're right, you're a pretty crazy perso - NO. SHUT UP.
YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. YOU ARE HUMAN.
Let me tell you something.
Crazy is one of the poor words who are victims of overuse, often in inappropriate situations. It sits in a hospital ward somewhere crying to itself, and regularly attends a support group with Fuck, Hate, and Love. It gives its sympathies to Shit, LOL, Cunt, and Epic, who were recently admitted to the hospital under similar circumstances.
In the same way that Hate is now used to express mild dislike, Crazy is more often than not used to describe the actions of people who are merely hyper, instead of the actions of people under the impression that having sex with a coffee grinder is a sane thing to do.
Everyone gets hyper sometimes. This doesn't mean you're crazy.
"blah blah blah I don't care what anyone else thinks of me blah blah blah..."
Bullshit you don't.
What you're actually trying to convey is closer to "I don't care if you don't like me and launch a barrage of verbal abuse at me because of this", because I'm pretty sure you'll lap up any compliments like a dehydrated dog who's found a giant bowl of water.
So who else ignores insults and accepts compliments? Thats right, people with brains.
I think there's still a few thousand of them left on this planet - OHHHH wait... you were trying to be unique weren't you?
Sorry to burst your bubble.
"blah blah blah be yourself/being myself blah blah blah..."
This is usually found pinned to the bottom of a teenage girl's bebo/facebook/myspace profile in a weak attempt to show that the person is in fact an individual, instead of a clone. It tries to combat the overwhelmingly familiar contents of the rest of the profile page, which can be seen in an additional 12 or more different colour schemes if you check the "friends list".
It's like going to a bar, drinking til you can't see past your nose, then stubbornly claiming you're against the consumption of alcohol.
It's fun to laugh at these people.
Here's something for you to think about:
If the people I've mentioned above are what mainstream society is composed of, and "mainstream" basically means "the majority", what does that say about people in general?
- Squirrel245
"Lets go get some hookers and ICE C-C-CREAM!!!"
- Dr. Rockso the Rock 'n' Roll Clown
