"Wow. This song sure is slutty." And my opinion never changed. No matter how many times I heard it, no matter how many times I started throwing things at the people who started playing it, I always thought that same thought.
3 years on, and I start seeing ads for someone who's released a song called "I Kissed A Girl (And I Liked It)". Again:
"Wow. This song sure is slutty. HOLY CRAP DE JA VU!"
After I finished running around waving my arms like that chick from Popeye in an earthquake (hey.. that's just how I react to De ja vu.), I realised that there was a trend here. And now I am 99% sure that as time goes by, songs get sluttier and sluttier. I wrote an equation for it too:
(.Y.) = T(C + 69)
(.Y.) = Boobs, here representing sluttiness
T = Time (in years) since the last widely acknowledged overly slutty song was released.
C = "Competitor's" sluttiness
After I punched myself for being such a nerd, I realized that slutty songs were just the tip of the ice...boob. I came to the conclusion that society as a whole was becoming gradually more and more sex-driven.
Now make no mistake, the idea of a society that's based on constant sexercising is not something I object to. Hell, I pray for the day! (although by the time society reaches that stage, I'll most likely be middle aged and impossibly lazy, or dead.)
But doesn't it seem like we're kind of... going backwards?
There's other signs too: people are becoming stupider, quite a few of them seem to be losing their ability to speak properly, Paris Hilton... you don't have to look far to see the evidence.
On the other, much more plausible hand, I'm an idiot.
But spare a moment to think about my rantings after you hear "My Vagina Is Too Empty (Please Help Me Fix This)" being played on the radio for the first time.
- Squirrel245
"There is nothing to fear but fear itself... AND VEGETA!"
- Vegeta (Alternate Reality Dragonball Z)
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ReplyDeleteI've never interacted with Blogger in this way before.. Wow look at this place - buttons, lights, a fountain, where's the buffet?
ReplyDeleteAnyway I have been told to come here by God himself, with the duty of delivering a message in the unusually out-of-character perfect grammar that you are reading now. After accepting a bribe of twenty bucks as opposed to guaranteed entry to Heaven, I was only too happy to oblige. The message is:
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"The time has come to announce to the entire world the true nature of Squirrel's existence. He is in fact, the Messiah. His latest blog post proves this, for its words are divine. We were going to warn all of humanity about Satan's little joke (the "Pussycat Dolls") as the eleventh commandment but we could only afford the regular-sized tablets. We also tried cleansing the world once with a huge flood but I guess even the ark was not without its stowaways. Sorry about that.
Keep on truckin', see y'all soon,
The Super Best Friends
P.S. Tell Squirrel I *will* get round to answering his prayers, it's just that I get soooo many junk prayers from fly-by-night pharmaceutical companies offering... Well you get the idea."
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Edit/Repost: Dammit where the hell is the "Edit comment" feature???
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