"What, what, WHAAAAT?!"

So last night... or... very very early this morning if you want to be all technical about it... I was busy interneting ('cause that's what all the cool kids do) when I saw a flash ad. I've never seen it since, and I never want to see it again, but for those of you who don't have spy cameras embedded in my eyes I'll repeat what was on it.

It was something along the lines of:

"All of your favourite movie characters...

Are about to be DESTROYED!

DISASTER MOVIE: Defiling cinemas on some date that Squirrel245 can't remember"



Seconds after my eyes were scarred with this disturbing forecast of things to come, I imitated this:

Various thoughts and questions started running through my mind like a jet powered elephant in heat.

Why does this movie exist?

Where do those retards keep getting money to pump this kinda shit out into cinemas?

Why do they think anyone WATCHES "movie" movies after seeing the abominations that they released after Scary Movie 4?!


I thought I'd already LOST all of my faith in mankind. But nope, I was wrong. There was something still in there it seems.

But as soon as I saw that ad, that last morsel of faith jumped out of me and ran off into the distance shouting back "This is revolution!!!".

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go stuff cherry bombs into watermelons then catapult them at stuff.

Because that's how I'm choosing to express my hatred for this movie.



- Squirrel245



"Daddy, everyone at school keeps teasing me about being born prematurely."

"You weren't born prematurely, son. You just survived the abortion."

- Cyanide and Happiness