Bardus Extremus

Current mood: Superior

...

Core body temperature: 36°C
Health status: Normal
Pants: On

As you can probably tell from the calender machine on this blog, it's been a while since I've come to this part of the internet that I've been assigned to and shared my thoughts.

That's partly because it's been a while since I've thought.

Now ONWARD! DOWN TO BEESWANKS!

I'd like you to meet my newest employee:

Fredge is my new Fail Monitor. His job is to look at life, the universe, and everything, and if he finds something that fails, he'll give it his Seal of Afail:

It's pretty simple. In fact it's beautifully simple. Dare I say it, it may even be super-mega-Keira-Knightley-sexy in its simplicity.

Here's some examples of how Fredge will do his job:


Example 1:

Person A: My cousin's boyfriend has a Skyline!

Person B: Oooo is that some kind of plane?

ATTENTION PERSON B!

Example 2:

Ditzy Bitch: Hi? I'm like, one of those people? Who can't actually say things? They can only ask things? Y'know?

ATTENTION DITZY BITCH!

Example 3:

TV: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Big Brother!

ATTENTION TV VIEWER!

This won't be an easy job. There's a lot of fail out there that needs to be identified.

But if anyone's up to it, Fredge is. Or else I'll break his legs then cut his pay.


Squirrel245


"I don't think I'm very happy. I always fall asleep to the sound of my own screams. And then I always get woken up in the morning by the sound of my own screams... Do you think I'm unhappy?"

- Butters Stotch